The offer email arrives, your stomach flips, and you’re tempted to reply “Thank you, I accept!” before you’ve finished reading it. Don’t. The moment between receiving an offer and accepting it is probably the highest-leverage moment of your whole hiring process. Here’s what the data says about it, and exactly what to say.
Most People Don’t Ask, and It Costs Them
Resume Genius’ 2025 survey of 1,000 full-time U.S. workers found that 55% of people don’t negotiate their first salary. That’s not unique to one survey. An earlier CareerBuilder survey found that almost half of workers (49%) accept the first offer they’re given, even though 45% of employers are willing to negotiate and expect it.
And asking tends to work. In the Resume Genius data, 78% of people who negotiated received a better offer, and 51% got an offer matching what they asked for. Harvard’s Program on Negotiation cites research on tech job seekers where those who negotiated gained about $27,000 annually above their initial offer. That’s one sample from one industry, so don’t treat $27,000 as a typical result. The direction of the finding is the point.
There are also gaps worth knowing about. Men (51%) were more likely to negotiate than women (39%), though among those who negotiated, 54% of women got a matching offer compared with 50% of men. Put simply, women who ask do about as well as men who ask. The gap is in asking.
Is It Risky? Less Than You Think
The biggest fear is that the company will pull the offer. Harvard’s summary of the research says that because most people who chose to negotiate made significant salary gains, the fear of having an offer revoked is likely overblown. A polite, well-reasoned counter is a normal part of hiring. Many employers expect a salary negotiation and build room for it into their initial offer.
That said, it’s not risk-free in every case. A rude or ultimatum-style counter, or one built on nothing, can sour things. Tone and preparation matter far more than boldness.
Step 1: Don’t Answer on the Spot
When the offer comes in, whether by phone or email, your first job is to buy time. Say:
“Thank you so much, I’m really excited about this role and the team. Could you send the full details in writing? I’d like to review everything and get back to you by [day, 1–3 business days out].”
This is reasonable, expected, and keeps you from reacting emotionally. Never negotiate against yourself in the first minute.
Step 2: Do Your Homework
Before you counter, build your number from evidence, not feelings. Pull ranges from:
- Job postings in your area. Pay transparency laws in a growing number of U.S. states require ranges to be listed, though the rules vary by state, so check yours.
- Salary data sites (Glassdoor, Levels.fyi for tech, Payscale) and the Bureau of Labor Statistics’ Occupational Employment and Wage Statistics.
- People in your field. Two or three honest conversations beat an hour of searching.
Pick three numbers: your target (what you’d be happy with), your ask (slightly above the target, to leave room), and your walk-away (the lowest you’d accept). You never share the walk-away.
Step 3: Make the Counter
Lead with enthusiasm, anchor to your value, name a specific number, and ask a question rather than issuing a demand. A script:
“I’m excited about this offer and I’d love to make it work. Based on my research for similar roles in this market, and given my [X years of experience / specific skill / result], I was expecting something closer to $[ask]. Is there flexibility to get to that number?”
Why this works: it signals you want the job, it’s specific (vague asks get vague answers), and it gives them a reason they can justify to a manager or finance team. Use a precise number, like $87,500 instead of $85,000. It reads as researched.
Avoid:
- “I need more money because rent is high.” Personal need isn’t a business case.
- Giving a range where the bottom is your real floor. They’ll pick the bottom.
- Bluffing about competing offers. If you have one, mention it honestly. If you don’t, don’t invent it.
Step 4: Handle the Response
If they say yes: Great. Ask for the revised offer in writing before you celebrate.
If they say “that’s the best we can do on base”: This is where many people stop, and they shouldn’t. Try:
“I understand. Is there flexibility elsewhere, such as a sign-on bonus, an earlier salary review in six months, extra vacation days, remote days, or a professional development budget?”
Harvard’s guidance is the same: look beyond salary and consider negotiating benefits and other parts of the offer you’d like to see improved. A $5,000 sign-on bonus or a guaranteed six-month review can be easier for a manager to approve than a permanent base increase.
If they say no to everything: You still have a choice. Accept graciously, or decline. Either way, you made the decision with full information.
Step 5: Get It in Writing, Then Say Thanks
Once you agree, confirm the final terms in writing. Then close warmly:
“Thank you for working with me on this. I’m looking forward to getting started.”
You’ve just shown your future boss that you prepare, communicate clearly, and advocate for yourself, all useful traits on the job.
A Note on Regret
Even people who negotiate often feel unsure about how they did. In the Resume Genius data, 65% of Gen Z workers said they regretted how they handled their salary talks, the highest of any group surveyed, and only 10% said they negotiated well and got exactly what they hoped for. That’s a good argument for preparing scripts and numbers in advance. Most regret comes from improvising.
The Short Version
- Pause and ask for the offer in writing.
- Research a defensible number.
- Counter with enthusiasm, a specific figure, and a reason.
- If base pay is stuck, negotiate the rest of the package.
- Get the final deal in writing.
Most employers expect this conversation. The people who skip it are mostly leaving money on the table out of nerves, not because it would have gone badly.
References
- Resume Genius 2025 Salary Negotiation & Expectations Survey, as reported by GOBankingRates via Nasdaq: https://www.nasdaq.com/articles/over-50-us-workers-dont-negotiate-their-starting-salaries-how-improve-your-offer
- Gen Z findings from the same survey, GOBankingRates: https://www.gobankingrates.com/money/jobs/gen-z-more-likely-negotiate-starting-salary-heres-why/
- Harvard Program on Negotiation, “How to Negotiate Pay in an Interview”: https://www.pon.harvard.edu/daily/salary-negotiations/how-to-negotiate-pay-in-an-interview-2
- CareerBuilder survey, as reported by ATD: https://www.td.org/insights/new-survey-says-half-of-workers-do-not-negotiate-job-offers